MordheimMORDHEIM
Sisters of Sigmar FAQ by Freud
Please note: Games Workshop Ltd. is a company that likes to
supress parody and satire. Thus they have asked ud to censor select parts of
this FAQ.
Furthermore, we are compelled to state that this post-censorship version this
FAQ does not necessarily deal with the Warhammer universe, as owned by Games
Workshop Ltd.. This FAQ could be dealing with *any* fantasy setting, or a
historical setting within the Holy Roman Empire where there is/was in fact a
city called Marienburg.
Thank you for understanding.
Email us with Sisters of [Censored] questions at coreheim|a|gmail.com
Q: How come the core rules don't feature a core Warband like the Sisters of [Censored]?
A: Shortly after the fall of the comet, the sudden influx of drunken sailors caused the Sisters of [Censored] to wonder if monastic life was really all that hot.
Q:
Seriously, why haven't you included the Sisters of
[Censored]?
A: Young blond
virtuous virgins in a lawless city filled with warring males - we couldn't take
them seriously.
Q: What Mounts can the Sisters of [Censored] ride?
A: These:
Q: But the Sisters
of
[Censored] are pure
and devout while the Witch Hunter Inquisition are corrupted!
A: Oh yearh, pure.
Captured Sister Superior: I am going to tell the Grand Inquisitor that
you raped and sacrificed me to the Unholy Gods 18 times.
Satanic Cultist: But we only raped and sacrificed you to the Unholy Gods 17
times?
Captured Sister Superior: Yes, but hopefully it'll be a while until he
arrives.
Q: Why is rape
funny?
A:
Jokes, like dreams, satisfy our
unconscious desires. Jokes provide pleasure by releasing us from our inhibitions
and allowing us to express sexual, aggressive, playful, or cynical instincts
that would otherwise have no outlet in civilized society.
Q: Why do the Sisters have [Censored] Whips?
A: Because you've been a bad, bad boy.
Q: Seriously, I imagine some great fluff with the Sisters being torn between their religious loyalties and their loyalty to the Imperium.
A: Great, so do we.
The Sisters were tending
to a wounded Mercenary when the Matron Mother addressed her Nuns:
"I have just finished bathing him and we must be weary as to whether he worships
the Unholy Gods. It appeards that he has the word 'Maurg' tatooed on his penis."
"No, Mother Matron" said a young Sister Novice,
"I washed him yesterday and it says 'Marienburg'."
Q: How come the Sisters of [Censored] cannot use edged weapons?
A: So that male players can dream safely, without fear of castration anxiety.
Now that you have read this FAQ that does not necessarily deal with the Warhammer universe, but could be dealing with *any* fantasy setting. Please note that for the purposes of Mordheim explicitly, someone has posted an unofficial Sisters Lists for Coreheim. While interesting, we recommend that you stick to the Core warbands, and we cannot provide technical support for unofficial lists.
